Anya The WhackAMole Slayer
by cadence-k
Summary: During S6, Anya takes Dawn to Chuck E. Cheese. Just a short and silly fic to hopefully make you laugh.


"You can _not_ be serious."

Dawn continued to stare as Anya nodded eagerly. "Yes, I am serious. Buffy said I could babysit you today, so I'm taking you to Chuck and Cheese's! It's supposed to be lots of fun for children!"

"I'm not a child. And it's Chuck E. Cheese, not Chuck and Cheese," Dawn explained as she crossed her arms across her chest. "I'm not going. That place is for little kids!"

Buffy hurried through the room, frantically grabbing her hat for work and tucking in her shirt. "Dawn, just go, will you? I have to leave for work and I would be a lot less worried if I knew you were with Anya."

"Can't I just go stay with Spike?" Dawn whined, making Buffy pause for a second.

"No. Go with Anya." Buffy's tone made it clear that any further whining or begging would be ignored. With a huff, Dawn walked out the front door, not waiting for Anya to follow her.

"Thanks Buffy! This will give me valuable experience raising children!" Anya chirped as she grabbed her purse and walked out into the daylight after Dawn.

After a moment, Buffy looked out the window as the two women got in Xander's car. "You're welcome."

"All of the books said that it's important to spend quality time with children," Anya recited as they opened the door to the Chuck E. Cheese to reveal the garishly decorated interior, complete with hordes of screaming kids.

Dawn rolled her eyes. "I'm not a kid," she repeated. "And if anyone from school sees me here… I'll give you something awful for a wedding present!"

Anya patted Dawn's shoulder reassuringly. "You'll have fun here! See, they have games and pizza and _ohmygosh!_ Huge rodents! What is that?" Anya shrieked and pointed to the unfortunate employee wearing the Chuck E. Cheese costume.

"Shhh!" Dawn hissed, grabbing Anya's arm and pulling it down. "That's just Chuck E. He's the mascot for the place."

"Is that supposed to be a rat? They don't have a bunny one, do they?" Anya turned to Dawn, her eyes wide with fear.

Dawn struggled not to laugh. "If I say they do, can we leave?"

"No, I'll be fine." Anya glanced back to the disturbingly large rat. "I'll be fine. A good parent wouldn't show fear in this situation."

"A good parent wouldn't bring a teenager to this place," Dawn muttered as Anya took her hand and drug her to the pizza counter.

"What kind of pizza do you want?"

Dawn looked suspiciously at the greasy, cheese-laden pizzas they had available. "I think I'll just have a soda, thanks."

"But you have to eat a good meal! A soda isn't healthy!" Anya lectured loudly. Dawn looked at the employee behind the counter in terror, sure he was going to make fun of her, but he just continued to stare straight ahead.

"And that stuff is healthy?" Dawn asked, pointing to the pizza case just as her stomach growled loudly. Giving Anya a sheepish look, Dawn reconsidered. "Okay, I'll have _one_ piece. I want the pepperoni one."

"Mushrooms or no mushrooms?" asked the bored-looking employee behind the counter.

"No mushrooms! They're gross," Dawn told Anya, who nodded.

"The same for me. No mushrooms." The drone behind the counter plopped two slices of the requested pizza on plates and slid them across to Dawn and Anya.

"That will be $7.59 thank you and have a nice day."

Anya paid him as Dawn picked up their plates and found a table. They sat and ate in relative silence until Anya saw a group of kids run by, gripping a strip of tickets in their grubby little hands.

"What are those children carrying around?" Anya asked as she turned to watch them pass.

"Those are tickets. You can win them at the games."

"What are they for?"

Dawn pointed to the prize counter. "You turn them in for cheap little plastic toy or a stuffed animal or something."

"So you win these tickets," Anya looked thoughtful. "And then you get free stuff?"

"You have to pay to play the games, but otherwise... yeah."

"What are we waiting for? Let's go win some tickets!"

"But I haven't finished my pizza!" Dawn protested as she was once again grabbed by the hand and led away.

First, they tried the skee-ball game, but Dawn had not inherited her sister's slayer aim. They didn't have any better luck at the basketball game with the hoop that moved back and forth, despite their enthusiasm. Finally, Anya walked past the whack-a-mole game.

"What does this one do?"

Dawn leaned against the side of the game. "You hit these things with the mallet when they pop up." She picked up the padded weapon and demonstrated for Anya.

"I just hit the rodents with the large whacking implement? Moles are similar to bunnies…" Anya considered the game for a moment before depositing a quarter into the slot. When the first mole arose from its protective shelter, Anya let out a loud shriek. Pow It dived back into its hole in retreat. The same occurred when the second mole dared to show its head, and then the third. Soon, Dawn was cheering as Anya slaughtered the moles, one by one.

Before long, the words "Perfect Score" began to flash on the screen. Ticket after ticket shot from the machine.

Dawn looked at Anya with wide eyes. "You're like… Anya the whack-a-mole slayer!"

Anya nodded earnestly. "Let's play again!"

An hour later, Anya and Dawn arrived back at the Summers' house. Buffy answered the door, no longer in her work uniform.

"They called to say that they were overstaffed for once," she said in explanation when Dawn gave her a questioning look. "I didn't have to go in after all."

"Then we can give you your gift now!" Dawn brought her hands from behind her back to reveal a small stuffed dolphin. Buffy gave it an experimental squeeze and sure enough, it squeaked.

"Thanks, Dawnie! It's really… cute." Buffy smiled at the sincere grin that spread across Dawn's face.

"This is what we have for Xander," Anya chimed in, showing Buffy a huge brown teddy bear holding a red heart that read, 'I love you'. "You can't have it because it's Xander's."

"I understand. I like my dolphin, anyways." Buffy gave it an extra squeak for emphasis. "Did you two have fun?"

Dawn tried to appear nonchalant. "It was okay. The people that work there a little scary. They may be robots – you should check into that. But Anya's really good at the whack-a-mole game!"

"She said I'm the mole slayer," Anya told Buffy with a warm smile at Dawn. "Well, I have to go. I want to give Xander his bear and tell him about my new skill. See you tomorrow, Dawn!"

Buffy and Dawn stood in the doorway and watched Anya walk back to the car. Finally, Buffy gave in and asked. "Tomorrow?"

"Yep. Anya's going to come hang out with me tomorrow while you're at work. We're going to go play mini-golf!"


End file.
